时间治疗吗？
好像还没有痊愈好。
疤，还是会看到。
对于这些事情，我也不想说太多，只是觉得自己是不被神眷顾的其中之一。

RUN

There are so many things undone.
I see the reality but I escaped from it previously.
Oh come on! I am no longer a young lady and I cant waste my time on drama anymore!
Move on Yang! RUN!!!!!!

I should live with more motivated and inspired.
I should start to see the world through my eyes but not from internet.
I never thought that I will be inspired from you.
How shall I get you over?

烦~

现在所背负的完全是一个男人结婚后要承担的家庭经济压力+ 一个小女孩的小小却很难的梦想。
快疯了~
再加上别人对于自己设计的不认同，自己也怀疑自己了，没有正规的文凭会被人瞧不起。。。
所以做工变慢了，逃避去了~

讨厌的4月

这个世界太吵闹了~
我听不到自己的声音。
这个世界太花花绿绿了~
我看不到自己的想法。
快要被现实的种种淹没了~~~

ID in Johor Bahru

The industry is getting smaller. Interior Design has been a field of combining a lot of "strangers" who they think they have "lobang" to contact with clients. Therefore, there 's some carpenters who used to work under some particular companies and they think they are able to survive themselves in market, hence they decide to be their own boss. It is like a rojak. Some people who specialisize in plumbing but they may tell you they do interior fit-out work also. Anyways, the owners in Johor Bahru are so closed-minded with their own so called "fashionable designer" which designed by totally no art sense designer. In Johor Bahru, you hardly can find a designer to tell you what is "image". They will tell you "image" is "image" lah~~~~something like a Jpeg to show customers accordingly to designer or clients' favour color or pattern. Alright! This kind of people occupied the 90% of markets and they reduce their price in order to do more design. Sometimes, they works as part time and merely to earn some pocket money. The clients did accept their work because they are same kind of people. They want cheap stuff with some 3D only. Trust me! Just 3D!
   Anyways, I do appreciate a lot of this kind of people in JB. So I got the chance to stand out like no others. However, there are a lot of hardworkship have to be done like educate clients and market myself in market.
Before that, I have to study a lot about materials, physcology, improving drawing skill, marketing, branding, and etc. 2 Certificates in my list to achieve such as like LEEDS and Master in construction management or ID. Times does not wait for anyone. So many things need to be done and I have so limited time to do it.
All I can say is Believe in what I believe now, what I do now is for 2 years later. SO GAMBADEK LAH~~~~

纪录悲伤

一直以来没有什么对自己老实的机会。我难过，这个我一直知道。但是希望朋友不要知道。所以连在blog里没有给自己机会好好地对自己交代。但是这次真的难过太久了，也许是因为没有好好地释放悲伤，一直压抑所以没有好好地让自己哭完。
我明白这次的悲伤并不是全然是因为他，而是我替自己难过。我本不是悲观的人，之所以会看起来那么的悲观是因为身陷残酷的社会，自己难过时还要看着时间给自己不足够的时间释怀，还要顾虑家里人。我需要的完全是属于自己的时间，让自己沉静。我搞不懂自己到底是怎样的人，所以也不去想那么多自己将是怎样的人。但是家里的生意必须要让我在1年内跟上爸爸的步伐，跟上他的想法，甚至要超越他。这个压力一切不是爸爸给的，而是我自己限定自己，让自己去承担爸爸完成不了的梦想。所以，这何等的压力我该往那里抒发呢？很多时候感觉自己什么都做不了，完成不了，所以我很计较努力了没有结果这回事。以前对于朋友和一些人也是这样，认为自己真的付出了全部的真心，全部的努力，但是往往结果都得不到自己要得结果。虽然最后都没事都出现了转机，但是那些伤口依然存在。可笑的是我忘了伤心的理由，却记得那疼痛。也许是金牛座的特性，往往把身边的人或事物都握在手中太紧了，让别人感到压力了。那好吧！所以要学习冷漠，对于事物往往不要太热情才好。以前那么努力地去证明自己存在的价值，那代价实在太不值得了。减少对事物的热情，至少会让我自己除了不会难过外，还会存在自己对自己的肯定。有些人会认为我的生活其实没有什么大风大雨，应该不至于那么难过吧！但是有一点就是，我对于每间事情的投入程度太深了。我要嘛就是不理，要嘛就是理到地。我就是那么简单的生物！现在想想自己要些什么都觉得很困难才能够得到。这样的我能活多几年呢？